Skydiving
First up, I know Steph reads this blog, but this entry isn't written for her reading... it's written for my thinking.
A few weeks ago, steph went skydiving for the first time. To say I was apprehensive about it is a considerable understatement. Although I know that it's pretty safe these days (I haven't checked out the statistics), there is still obviously a risk of something going wrong - and when it does, it's wrong on a pretty large scale. I mean, they don't make you tick a little box that says "I might die doing this" for no reason. I guess the big things going through my mind were "What if something did go wrong?". Sometimes my brain will get locked in a very morbid thought pattern, almost like a record skipping. For example, I'll be flying somewhere for work, there will be a bit of turbulence, and then my mind will drift to the plane going down in a ball of flames. And for the next few minutes, I'll have real trouble NOT thinking about an elephant (to mix my analogies - go on, try to not think about an elephant...). The record will keep skipping back to doom and gloom. That's what happened with the lead up to this particular Sunday when Steph was booked to go jumping. Lots of bad thoughts. Anyway, as most of you would know by now (via Twitter/Facebook updates), it all went well. Steph loved it. And I mean really loved it.
Check out the video below;
And that's now the (my) problem. Steph wants to do a course to get her skydiving licence. If my anxiety levels were high before that first jump, they are now stratospheric on the thought of her a.) getting her licence via a large number of jumps and b.) doing this solo... It's not that I don't trust Steph's abilities, but to put it in Andy-world terms, I'm paralleling it to me picking up saxophone for the first time, and a week later having to fill in for Pink Floyd's sax player. That probably doesn't make sense to you. I had a dream about it once. Freaked me out big time.
To (hopefully) use a better analogy (I'm full of them today), I think it would be like me deciding to take up a career in Formula 1 racing. Right now, I can drive a car, but that's about it. I'd need to undergo a number of years in lessons and practice driving, and I'd probably work my way up through various types of driving, amateur races, etc. Eventually, I'd be lining up for the big race with Kimi and his mates. But that process would take a long time. And it's a dangerous activity - travelling at very high speeds. And there's a lot of variables as well - other drivers, weather, the car itself, etc. My initial thoughts on Steph's skydiving is that she's, in this analogy, going from knowing how to drive a car, to sitting in the passenger seat during a number of V8 Supercar races to doing a few weeks of racing and then signing up for that first F1 race. Maybe it's too fast (the process, not the analogous race). Maybe I don't like the thought of Steph jumping out of a plane, repeatably, on purpose. That seems like a fairly rational response.
Anyway, I continue to think about it a fair bit. Not sure what's going to happen, but I'm still apprehensive. Any input welcome :)
Labels: Steph
posted by AndyN at 12:47 PM
2 Comments:
Andy, this woman is out of control. Really you need to get her into line. Hehe yeah not so funny, but seriously...
If Steph does this she will be happy and excited about pursuing a new passion, and be a more fulfilled human being. This will mean spreading even more of that Steph goodness to those around her like you and the rest of the family, on to her friends, and even reaching right out to the person at the petrol station when she goes to fill up the car. If something happens at this point then it will be with this happiness in her life.
If she doesn't do it then she will always have that regret that niggles from time to time of something that would have been so cool that she never got to do. If something happens at this point she will have never have been able to experience that happiness.
(Hope this comes across with the right meaning. If not, you know where I work.)
i think your wife is a pretty savvy woman and no doubt has weighed the pros and cons of such a venture; she is after all married to a wonderful man and is the mother of two magnificent children, three people she plans on spending the rest of her life with. but i'd bet my bottom dollar that one of the things she wishes to teach her children is that life is something to be fulfilling, exciting and joyful, as well as considered and practical; dreams of passion are our inner fire and no-one should be able to put cold water on them to douse them out. she wants to show her children that it takes time and skill to find someone in life that supports your dreams, even if they disagree with them with every part of their mind and body, simply because they know it will make you whole.
it's hard to appreciate the power of someone else's dreams. what floats your boat most likely doesn't do it for someone else. you're a music junkie - if you were to go deaf and the only way of getting your hearing back was to jump out of a plane each month for the rest of your life, despite your fear, would you do it? i reckon you would, because to be without music for you would be to lose an enormous part of yourself. bottom line, you'd do anything to make your spirit whole, and i bet your wife would be on the ground waving at you joyfully as you make your life complete, because we want to see those we love full of divine delight; it's not about *us*, it's about *them*. the fear of what *could* happen is outweighed by the joy of what *is* happening - for them, and as a flow-on, for us.
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